Cause I have less sense than a goat
We planned to get up at god awfully early, like 5AM to make it to SDCC, but it was awfully early and we have to take the Metro down and there’s already probably half a million people crammed into the place and honestly 7AM is just too early to wrestle people. Bears maybe, but not people. So we got there at like 10. Because then we’re less potato and more people. And it wasn’t too hard to figure out where and how to get there, because people were all crowded there and we just had to follow the people.
That’s the key; follow the mob of people with their SDCC badges and bags. Just be a creeper and stalk. It will all pay off. We got in. I was holding the notebook to see where we were going. I was holding the notebook as we bought really awesome tshirts for ourselves and our buddies….and then I wasn’t holding the notebook. It was gone. Forever.
Fairies got it.
Too bad. It’s fine. I’m not too worried. Unless I started getting weird emails or phone calls. >.>;;; Yes. The things I do. ;o; BUT I STILL FEEL PAIN IN MY HEART FOR IT WAS THE NOTEBOOK THAT MY KCHU GOT ME. ;o; RILAKKUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ← my battle cry.
And so life moves on. Really quickly in the SDCC exhibit hall. Seriously, I swear people were flying back and forth and tshirt and merch were there and then they weren’t and finally the OATMEAL. For those who don’t know the Oatmeal, go get thee an education. I didn’t think Papa Domo and Kchu were big fans of him;. Seriously, they were quoting him in the car and I seriously thought they were talking about the oatmeal no one really likes to eat but does cause they’re on a horrible diet and just happen to read the “interesting fact: You can’t lick your elbows”. Nope, they were talking about this guy. I used his “Printers are from hell” posters in every single one of my offices. Because it’s true. We even got his autograph where he added a drawing in each. The man just draws like BAM. Cat. BAM. DEMON BIRD. Fun fact: the man really did have a bird return from the after life and was featured in a Singaporean men fitness magazine. Weird. I know. I didn’t see him make a comic of that. But it has happened. I hope he never reads this blog for it probably violates all his requirements for “literally” or e.g. or i.e. or cats or hell, even cock sauce.
And then we went on to part ways, Kchu went on to do her workshop for she is diligent and must improve. Whereas, Domo and I were on a quest for all of the My Little Pony posters across the exhibit hall and text Kchu during her lessons cause we’re not in school and that’s what we do. The hunt was epic and terrifying as we carried our oversized Tardis that is bigger on the inside and I cannot carry it because it has a height requirement and carried ourselves across the hall for the great legendary posters. Went to go to my workshop, got lost, and turned around to find Domo. Tackled an extremely tall, well dressed man in a suit with an ear thing with the white cord, attractive, figured he was a cosplayer for something I don’t know what. Remember him. Found the Domo, who convinced me to taken My Little Pony comic pictures with word bubbles at the Hasbro stand. It’s so cute it hurts.
I got an awkward turtle…and I got Kchu and Domo an awkward octopus. Because octopus in Japanese is Tako and Kchu and Domo really likes tako. I think. Cause this is seriously one of their conversations: “Tako tako tako Canada tako tako”. It might be taco, because in Forever Summerland they closed the only Taco Bell there. Seriously, there’s a place the people eat Taco Bell for other things than drunken hunger and hangover recovery. Anyways, I’m not sure of it is tako or taco and they won’t tell me. But I’m really 100% sure it’s tako and Canada. I’m starting to pick up on their Chinese. Trust me.
After we got all that we could and found out that two posters of the six posters were gone, So Domo and I wanted to check in our bags and found that Fox was handing out poster tubes. So I ran into the hall…..and lo and behold, as typical Fox….they were not handing out posters tubes anymore. Remember, that man I tackled? He’s the bodyguard at the Fox both for some actors of some show. It’s not Bones, so what do I care? But I did find my long lost friend, L*sha, who travels around conventions selling her art. Great fun, got her number, chatted really fast before leaving to find Domo. Obtained Hellsing comic, dunno what or why but I did.
Domo decided he would go back to the hotel to return everything there because the queue for the checked bag is stupidly long and probably was closed. I bid him a safe journey and that the Tardis will hold up. I instead, went to look for the Kchu, in which cause I took a wrong turn, ended up in the exhibit hall again. But I ended up where the tshirt stand we were at first. They remembered me as Domo’s accomplice and handed me a $20. Yes. We’re dealing drugs.
Nah, it’s more like Papa Domo handed them an extra $20 because the bills were stuck together, so they asked me to return it to him. Papa Domo’s lucky I’m an honest kid. After a few fumbles later, through the artist alley, I finally ended up outside Kchu’s workshop, where I couldn’t decide where to sit so I plant my ass down right in the middle of the floor. I know. Classy.
And then stared expectantly at the door. Eat my sandwich and stare at the door some more. Drink water. Stare.
Then they open the door….and I SEE THEM ALL LEAVING THROUGH THE BACK DOOR D:
I looked at them like “WAI WOULD YOU ABANDON MEEE?!?!?! DON’T YOU LOVE ME?” But then Kchu came around the corner and found meeeee. \(;0;)/
Apparently there’s a reason for this anxious tactic: to keep the entry open for the people to go in by exiting through the back. I get you. Then we went to find the washroom, rounding the corner, we were nearly there when this other bodyguard (that I’m certain was Cobra Bubbles) stopped us and I thought I was going to die when another bodyguard (no he didn’t remind me of anyone) said it was all right to pass if it was for the potty.
Thank you, sir, I really chugged a lot of water and was starting to regret it greatly.
After that…we mosey through the place, trying to find the Epic Fantasy panel because FUCK YEAH BRENT WEEKS. I do not fangirl over authors. But the authors at the panel did fangirl over George R.R. Martin. A lot. Excessively. In other words, you’re never too old to fangirl. Or fanboy. Or fanperson, take your pick. But god, they trolled each other, they pick on each other’s stories, what their favorite part in Games of Throne, what they were inspired by, what they want, how will they react if they meet the mythical Ser George R.R. Martin, advise on writing…..yeah. One of my favorite author is a fanboy.
But that’s okay. Because after the panel, there’s a signing. \(*0*)/ So Kchu and I went on an epic adventure to find the glorious queue for the signing, where we ended up asking great volunteers across the land….aka one of them stop us to ask about Kchu’s pants. Then after offering to help him get similar clothing, he brought us to the line….that was OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE. WHY WOULD YOU FORCE PEOPLE WHO RARELY SEE THE DAYLIGHT TO QUEUE OUTSIDE? DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND OUR EYES ARE NOT MADE FOR THIS? MY PUPILS SHRINK SO MUCH I THINK THEY POPPED.
And I forgot my book. SO I BROUGHT THE FUCKING TRILOGY FOR THE MAN TO SIGN IT. Yes. I am THAT fan. But it’s okay, it’s a ridiculously long line. That goes on and on and on….and finally! I saw him. BRENT WEEKS. IN THE FLESH. I WAITED SO LONG IN THE QUEUE. READY TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING I WANTED TO TELL HIM!! I wanted to tell him how much I love that the story grew from a typical orphan to power became a questioning of humanity and weight of taking a life. The gritty city that makes you cringes at the smell and worry about rats running over your feet but it’s okay because there are homes so nice that its occupants don’t even realized there was such a city. The pace of time was perfect between a warring state, undead, magic users of both the old and new……..but on top of it all, the bittersweet romance.
But what do I say?
“I love Momma K.”
Brent Weeks: Oh good, I’ll kill her off in the next chapter 😀
Me: NOOOOOOOO. WAIT YOU CAN’T.
Him: I do intend to write more about her, since she is such an interesting character
Me: THOU MUST NEVER COMMIT SUCH A CRIME.
Him: ROR. Okay.
me: ….thank you.
A picture later.
And I lived.
Oh and in line, I might’ve given Papa Domo some really poor directions on where to find us. But he got distracted…so we went hunting for a Domo after that. Once we were reunited, with our powers combined….We went to find dinner. And it was a vicious quest, for one does not simply walk to a crab shack.
The glass elevator was broken so we had to hike up the biggest steps in the world. Just keep hiking. And hiking. Once we finally made it over the top of the convention there it was, glistering in the distance of the sea…is the holy crab shack. We made it inside and I was simply not human enough to even try food. I made Kchu and Domo pretty much work for it and then…maybe worked on it. Oh, Kchu had a deadly margarita….then we metro back to the hotel. Not sure what happened, but we made it back…showered and KO-ed. Might’ve lost my laptop or something.
SDCC is not a beast to underestimate, my friend.
Trip total so far:
Missed turns: 3.
Tofu house: 1
Gas refuel: 1
Times I lost my phone: Too many times to count because my handbag is like a black hole.
Really needing a bathroom and not able to find one: 1.5 (it almost happened)